Wednesday, 10 December 2014

EPIC EMAIL #2

Well, this is one of the original emails I sent out prior to establishing the the blog. 
From April 8, 2010

***Disclaimer:  This email is super long because I wrote little bits along the way.  Might want to break it up over a few days or something.  Or skim read it.  Or skip it altogether.  Totally won't be offended.  
 

Helloooo!!!

We just got back from Pai, we rented mopeds yesterday and scootered on up the mountain about 4 hrs away....it took us from 9:30am to 3pm..
It would have been ok but the boys decided to do some "off roading"......Garret bailed pretty harsh as did James the Irish guy that came with us. Garrett is now in a foul mood because he broke his shock proof camera and did some hefty damages to the bike.  We decided to just spend the night up there as we were too tired to drive back home and didn't want to drive in the dark.|This was kind of unfortunate as we had already paid for our night in, and paid for another night in Pai. Fortunately there were four of us so it was cheaper than it could have been.  We left at 6:30 am Wednesday and got back at 10...we drove straight to except one stop for brekkie.  Anyway,  Garrett had to pay a lot of money for the damages to his bike.  They tried to make me pay for some big gouges that they said I did (I didn't, I only took a little fall and the bike landed on my leg, so the landing was soft! ouch!).  Anyway, we had to threaten to call the tourist police because they were saying they wouldn't give me back my passport till I paid, but I didn't want to pay.  Bit of a scam if you ask me! (Later it turns out that this is a well known scam and they warn you about it in the guidebooks...who'd a thunk
it eh!?) Some other traveller just butted in and told them to shove off as even he could tell the damages were old! A crowd started to form because there was quite a commotion between the Thai lady hollering at us and me stomping my foot and stubbornly crossing my arms saying “I WILL NOT PAY!!!!”, to the people all around interrupting to tell the owners of the shop to be fair. In the end after making us wait close to 45 minutes the lady said that I had to pay late charges for an hour, even though we only were a half an hour late, but the contract (written in Thai) said we left earlier than we did. All in all I only had to pay 40 baht, (1.30$ for being an hour late arriving with the bikes). This was an unfortunate lesson learned, but in hind sight we lacked some common sense in renting the scooters without inspecting for prior damage and making notes or pictures of the scratches. I wonder how hapless tourists have paid for the same scratch over and over again!

The night we returned to Chiang Mai
, we hopped on an night bus to take us back to Bangkok. The bus was very uncomfortable for Garrett as he is so tall and the seats are built for the South Asian body type. Slim and short as a general rule. We made it back to Bangkok by 5:30 am, as we drove into the city we say many Police Vehicles heading in as well (like 20-30 in a row!) as there was a large red shirt protest planned for that day. We then took a tuk-tuk to the train station where we hung out for 3 hours. Luckily there were many other travellers that we got to meet up with and chat with. We met one guy from the UK who told us about a spiritual revelation he had after he swam in the waters of Koh Samui. He then investigated numerous religions and ended up deciding that Christianity was the simplest message with the most hope in it, and he said it “made sense”. After this, I told Garrett that we were going to go to Koh Samui (Southern Thailand) and I was gonna forcibly chuck him in the waters. Sounds like a plan to me :P
The next leg of our journey was wrought with potential dangers.
Fasten your seat belt folks, cause here I go!

We had paid extra money for VIP seats on the bus so that we would have more room to move around. Weeellllll
, guess what!??The bus had supposedly broken down. SO the company shoved all of us into a tiny mini-van, but alas, there wasn't room for Garrett and I and another couple, so after reorganizing the cramped van, they shoved Garrett and I in and the other couple into an even tinier car. This was a less than ideal situation, but we didn't say much because there is a chance they could just drive off without you. Anyway, I was waaaay in the back and the floor of the van was metal and burned my feet, I resigned myself to sweating my brains out. Garrett got the roomier position in the front. That part was rather uneventful, except that the roads were in bad condition, so every bump was amplified if you sat in the back.. . My head would thunk the window if I dared to doze off. We arrived at the Aaranyprathet and our guide got our visas for us. We paid 35$ each (later we found out they were only supposed to be 25$), but they had people actually walk through with groups of 5 at a time. It was a fairly painless procedure and we all came out on the other side. I found it bizarre that we had to do a medical screening thing. But it only consisted of us filling out a health questionnaire. The guys in there kept saying to me `Do you know me and I said `No`. Then he answered `I KNOW YOU want me`. These are lyrics to a song played on the radio here. I don't think he understood the context of the song, just the I KNOW YOU part. Then he proceeded to serenade me as I left with `I am so lonelyyyyy, so verryyy loneelyyyy, I have noboddyyyy`. I think this is all he knew of that song. If you don't believe me you can corroborate this story with Garrett. It was a very surreal introduction to Cambodia. 
When I first arrived in Thailand I remember thinking...`Ah, so this is what true poverty is`. Being the spoiled Canadian that I am, I had ignorantly assumed that East Hastings was real poverty. Well this mindset was immediately challenged upon entry to Cambodia. As soon as I walked out of the customs, It was like I had entered a strange universe. There were people pulling carts that looked far too heavy for their emaciated bodies. The carts generally piled high with what looked like rubbish (cardboard?), I don't even know. It was really bad. But it was going to get worse.
The tour company Garrett and I had booked with tried to tell us that we had to bus to Siam Reap (where Angkor Wat is) then over to Phnom Penh. They said it was only an extra 3 hours (later we found out it is an extra 6 hours!!!). I pulled out the stomping foot routine (yes, I know, it is getting old, but it seems to speak universally across language barriers). I said `NO!, we are going directly to Phnom Penh. That is what we paid for that is what is going to happen. I am such a jerk. It worked. They found us a taxi with Air Conditioning. We were to share it with two other people (so much for paying extra for the roomier VIP coach the up sold us on). At this point we had been travelling for close to 20 hours. SO we really didn't care. I was dehydrated because our vehicles didn't have bathrooms and they don't stop much, so I wasn't drinking much...dumb idea. So this is the part where we lived up all 9 of our lives (if we were cats), and also I made my guardian angels cringe and work overtime. Our cab driver didn't speak a lick of English, so we knew there would be no conversation from him. We promptly befriended the Aussie squished next to us. His name was Adrian and he worked for an NGO educating and trying to end exploitation of children here. We had a lot to talk about for 6 hours.

As the driver revved his engine.
I settled myself in the back to sleep. Within 30 seconds, I was sitting up gasping and squeaking with horror. The driver was NUTS! He was swerving in and out of traffic, perpetually honking. He honked at everything! Trees, rocks, cars, scooters, cows, horses, apparitions, imaginative friends, the road...you get the idea. As we neared the countryside, traffic became less. After twenty hours with no sleep I managed to doze off. You know how when you go swimming or are in a boat and when you try to sleep you feel like you are still in the pool or lake? Well, in the past 36 hours I had spent about ten hours on a moped. As I fell asleep, I dreamt my scooter hit a cement post and I grunted and did a full body spasm and jerked awake. It took a moment to orient myself (where am I, who am I...etc.). When my brain was functioning, I heard the Aussie beside me chuckling and politely looking away. So of course I had to tell the stranger about my dream and why I was having them (this was the 2nd night in a row)....great ice breaker, let me tell you. Nothing awkward about that one. No siree.
I start
ed to pay more attention the erratic driving skills of the man behind the wheel. I noticed that he sniffed a lot (Brianna, I wish you had never told me what that means, but it did explain a lot, so maybe I am glad you told me...oh I don't know). And his eyes were REALLY red and bloodshot. Hmmmmm....I thought to myself, Brianna said perpetual sniffing with signs of bloodshot eyes and no cold symptoms is the sign of a drug uses....duhn duh duuuhhhhh. I began to watch the driver more closely. He switched from lane to lane at whim. The 2 lane road would sometimes become four. It soon became apparent that his honking meant `I OWN this road!`. I didn't tell Garrett, because I didn't want to worry him. Eventually I caved though, misery does love company. So here's the weird part. It gets dark quickly here. 6Pm is usually pitch black. It took us a while to figure out what exactly was going on. But here's what it was. As another car would approach, our driver would flash his brights, on and off, on and off in rapid succession. Whether or not the other car was driving with brights made no difference. The approaching car would flash his lights back (of course). As they put their brights on, our drive would rip a hand mirror out and hold it above the steering wheel. This would reflect their lights back into their own eyes. This dude was seriously tripping out. So he played this game as well as the honking game as well as one more. Let`s-see-how-close-we-can-get-to-the ox-and-cart-on-the-side-of-the-road. I aged 20 years in that trip. Then, the driver, sick of our englishy conversation started channel surfing on his radio (on top of everything else, oh yeah, he also answered his phone and would talk loudly in Khmer). He found one with some popular tunes we happened to know. Garrett, Adrian and I (there was a Thai women in the front but she didn't speak English so we couldn't bond) began to sing in moderate tones along with the radio. He let us for 30 sec, than promptly switched stations and played it full blast. It was a Cambodian talk show.
When we arrived in Phnom Penh, the driver attempted to drop us off at a dark train station at 11 pm at night. We wouldn't get out, as once again the conditions of our ticket said a bus station. This is where the Dominguez's said they would meet us (missionaries here). We asked to use his phone but he said he didn't have one although we had just seen him using it. Finally we convinced him through actions that we would not leave until we called someone. He wanted another fix bad enough that he finally let us use his phone. We were then able to call the missionaries and tell them we had arrived. The driver parked illegally on the road then put his hood up to pretend he had broken down. When security came, they didn't bother us much. Anyway, finally Perry came and collected us. PHEW!!!! We had survived!
Anyway, we arrived, showered and fell asleep immediately. In the morning, Garrett and I both had developed cankles (where you calf and ankles become one). Mine because of travel, heat and dehydration. Garrett's was much more serious. His wound from the motorbike had become infected. It was disgusting. It was really red and lots of * gag * puss. Erin is another missionaries wife with many years of experience in the tropics behind her. Upon examination, she pronounced Garrett house bound with rest and no beach for a week. So, we adjusted our schedule. We stay in Phnom Penh till March 29th. One week less in the south beaches of Thailand. We are both bummed out, but this gave me an opportunity to get to know the people, land and language a bit more than I would have, had we stayed only four days we had originally planned. I am thinking about coming back to maybe teach English here for 3 months in the next year. We will see if that pans out or not. You just never know:P
Our very first day in Phnom Penh, we went with Saum and Chorn from the Dominguez's church to S21 (Khmer Rouge Museum, formally a school) and the Killing Fields. I did not particularly relish the idea of going to these places, but felt that it was necessary to understand the people and to pay respect. I was not that knowledgeable about that particular period in history, I never remember hearing about it in school (an injustice for sure), or in media, or just general conversation. General overview is that Pol Pot overthrew the government in Cambodia in 1979 (dates could be argued, might be a little sketchy). He marched in and took over Phnom Penh. He made almost everyone go back to the countryside, as he wanted them to produce rice and remain peasants. He killed anyone who was educated, looked educated (i.e. glasses), or knew more than one language. This to this days of course affects the nation, as they have effectively `dumbed down` the genes of Cambodia. This isn't to say of course that there aren't intelligent people in Cambodia, just that there are much less. Of course you still have the old school generation who hesitate to educate their children as they are afraid it will damage them somehow. Finally the Vietnamese came and liberated the country. By then it was already in shambles and still is. No one from abroad will invest in the country as it is so corrupt and unstable, a company would be foolish to risk it.
The Dominguez's are American. Josie was born in the Philippines however, but everyone here thinks she is Khmer (Cambodian). Her husband, Perry, is American. When they arrived here, there were many things they had to learn. The first is, that there are no jobs for the people. Cambodia has nothing to export. They have clothing factories for say, Old Navy, but these factories generally employ females. Many young men come from families in the provinces. They come to Phnom Penh looking for work because their families in the country can no longer afford to feed them. When they get here, because there is not really any industry in Cambodia they cannot find jobs easily, therefore are often are hungry. IF they have to opportunity to work, it is usually 14-16 hours a day, 7 days a week, with maybe one day off a month. The pay is not usually enough to pay rent and eat (estimated 30$ US month). So they
find small rooms for rent and share with many others. I have seen the rooms ( I didn't want to take a picture). They are big enough for a bed ( hard wooden table if they are lucky, otherwise a straw mat on the floor). Maybe 3-5 people share this room. Often whole families. They work, eat, sleep. That is all. Nothing more.


<Tragic.
At the Luchkins' church, there were many people who had come in a taxi truck the church rented, they had all worked 14 hours that day, then taxied 45min to come to Wednesday night church. They all had the bleary eyes of over worked people. It was really heart wrenching.
I think that it is difficult to explain poverty. Back in Canada we have all seen those ads for children in Africa, with the extended bellies and big eyes with Celine Dion singing faintly in the background. We know poverty exists, we have seen pictures, movies,
etc., but nothing can really compare to seeing it first-hand. When I was there I felt guilty even experiencing hunger pains, and to leave food on my plate was a crime. As for my jobs, I have never lacked for work, and am thankful that even if my past jobs haven't been the most sophisticated or career-orientated, I have the ability to work where ever I set my mind too. Sometimes 2-3 jobs at one time, but Thank God for the blessing of work.
One of the things that made me chuckle in Cambodia was it was the nation of knockoffs. Apple was everywhere, but the bite mark was on the opposite side of what it should be. Puma was Puna. 7-11 was 6-11. KFC had two alternatives, King Fried Chk (KFC) or Louisiana Fried Chk. It was a source of entertainment the entire trip. These people are ingenious!
We finally departed Cambodia via plane to go to Phuket. Cambodians are crazy! It cost us 35$ visa to get in, then they charged us 30$ just so we could leave the country. It was an airport tax or something...to date, the ten days in Cambodia were the most expensive of the trip.
So, we landed in Phuket, spent one night, then continued on to Phi Phi Island via ferry. I met some cool Thai people who taught me some new vocab. It was a fun ferry ride. We went to Phi Phi and stayed in the Uphill Cottages, named thus because they were “uphill”. I felt safer there in case of a tsunami. We checked out the beaches and hiked around for a bit exploring the island and reintroducing ourselves to the Fruit shakes of Thailand. Soooooo good. Almost as good as the ones Grandpa and I made in Mexico every morning. Keeping with the tradition started in Mexico, I also would have a Thai pancake every morning for breakfast. Delish. On the second day in Phi Phi, Garrett and I went on a large ferry cruise where they took us to a Monkey Beach where we go to see feral looking monkeys. And some other pristine looking beaches that were absolutely fabulous for swimming and snorkeling. We also went kayaking at one of the beaches. It was pretty rad. We met some cool people from Russia. It was really a nice time. We watched the sunset on the south pacific and jumped in over and over trying to get the perfect shot of us in the air with the sunset behind us. I got a good pic on the first try, it took Garrett 4 tries. Haha. They also fed us authentic Thai food with pineapple for dessert. The food was too spicy for me, so I skipped straight to the dessert. Pineapple=God's candy. Superb. The next day we went on to travel back to the mainland, Krabi. I liked Krabi better, mainly because it was 
noticeably cheaper. Also, the streets and beaches were quite a bit cleaner. The second day there we went on a tour on a longboat to a bunch of islands. There were about 30 people on this one. Again, a lot of snorkeling. I got a private tour from one of the guides. He knew the ocean well and pointed out really cool fish. Then he kept grabbing sea cucumbers and making me touch them(*shudder*). One of the sea cucumbers secreted this weird goop all over my hand. The goop glowed fluorescent under the water. I tried to get it off as it kind of made my hand feel numb and funny. I managed to get most of it off only by keeping my and under the water so the goop glowed. It would turn invisible as soon as I took my hand out of the water. Strange. I also go to see some caves and cool fish. I like snorkeling immensely. I was freaked out at first as there are weird things below you in the ocean, and it kind of creeped me out. Especially when I saw a poisonous black and white striped swimming below me. But it turns out the ocean in like our forests. Divided into stratospheres in which if you keep to the top, there are less animals that live and habitat that layer. So it would be like gliding along the tree tops. The dangerous animals like bears and cougars are going to have a rough time getting you way up high. Just like the sharks and jellyfish in the ocean. Well, not really. But it made me feel better at the time. The next morning was to be our last day. So we rented scooters again (wisely this time, we made notes of existing damage). And took off to Emerald ponds. It took about 2 hours to get there. Once there, however it was a nice surprise. It was this crystal emerald (huh!) coloured pond that was serviced by a freshwater stream from the ground. It was so cool and refreshing to swim in. We hopped back on our scooters to get back to Krabi. We had to catch a bus to Surathani to fly to Bangkok. Buuut, the sun was sooooo hot. I imagine it was close to 40-45 degrees Celsius in some spots. I could feel the sun cooking me. It hurt so bad. Of course we had forgot to bring sunscreen. We made an emergency stop to get some from 7-11 and slathered it all over. But still it hurt. I was burned for like 3 days after that! Sick.
So now I am in Perth Australia where I have been bonding with the Aussies. Most of all I like to talk to the kids. Little Aussie kids have accents. It’s so hilarious. I can't get over it because I think my brain thinks that Aussies are faking it, so when a kid talks, I am astounded. I am not sure why I am so amazed as I have not done a full psychoanalysis on myself yet. But this is what I think. They are so cute. But funny!
The only damper on my trip this far is that I lost my camera somewhere enroute to Australia. I have called the airlines, but don't hold much luck in it being returned. I am so sad as there are like 200 pics (including the awesome one of me jumping in the ocean at sunset). Fortunately if worse comes to worse Garrett has some, but his camera broke at the scooter accident so we used mine mainly. I could cry. But I haven't yet as I am that the airlines don't clean very well and it might still be under the seat or something. There is also a possibility it fell out on the bus or taxi. Not sure. But I am very sad. There may be a bout of tears sometime in the future, but for now I am hoping that it will turn up. It was a brand new camera too! Grrr.....
Well, my friends. I guess this email should keep you all occupied for a bit reading it. I must go now as I must create new adventures in order to have something to write about next time.
Muah!
xoxxoox

Well, my friends. I guess this email should keep you all occupied for a bit reading it. I must go now as I must create new adventures in order to have something to write about next time.
Muah!
xoxxoox

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Muttama Princess

And 10 months later, I return to Muttama Station to be a harvest cook. After a lifetime of travelling from South East Asia to arrive here (6 days baby!), i arrived to the most disgusting sanitary situation in the house. This coming from a girl who's lived in a developing country for 7 months. That should say a lot.

I got the place all sorted out anyway, (4 hours to clean the stove/oven!). That night I went up to the farmhouse with one of the farmboys for dinner with the farmer and his wife. There is one boy who is the same from last year.
I wasn't confident on the cleanliness of the kitchen in the quarters so I didn't want to attempt food cooking there. I had a good chat with them.  Their favourite story was how a fellow teacher friend of mine got mugged. By three lady-boys on a moto. The farmer and farmboy never tire of re-enacting the scene. It keeps me in stitches. Sometimes I just randomly ask farmboy to do the ladyboy accent, and generally, well actually  ALWAYS, he obliges (never mess with the lady who is in charge of the food). It makes me laugh so hard. 

As for actual day-to-day life out here, it is pretty quiet. I originally had four Irish lads and one Aussie guy, but the Irish "needed to take a spoonful of cement and harden up" (Farmer Tom's words, not mine, my description was more along the lines of "bunch of pansies") and left.  The one guy in particular wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, and he was the catalyst for the whole mutiny thing. What happened was Farmer Tom told him to knock off work at 7pm as he was going to pull a night shift on the hay baler. So this clever lad waltzes home and proceeds to sit in front of the TV. Puzzled, I asked him if he were going to bed as I can turn the music off etc. He said, "No, it's worse if I sleep. It's better if I just stay awake the whole time."  

I tried to tell him that temporarily he might feel ill, but at 4 and 5am, he would be really happy that he had slept. He didn't listen. In fact he drove to town and bought 5 RedBulls. Then he sat down and downed them.  Sheer brilliance.  He went to work, then came home around 6am and went to sleep. At 1130am, the Farmer told me to wake him up. So I did. Genius boy was so upset, he muttered and complained the whole time. Then when he joined the group at work, they were waiting for a truck or something, so they were all standing around. This upset him to the point where he stomped back to the quarters and grouched about it to me. I politely, and delicately reminded him that he had the 5 hours the night before to sleep, which he didn't. The Aussie Farmboy came to the quarters and was like, "Soooo, are you coming back to work because we sort of need you?!".
Irish guy,"Ummmm...I have a headache and need coffee". Awkward silence where I avoided eye contact with everyone and looked for the nearest exit to make my escape, then Aussie farmboy left. 30 minutes later the whole lot turned up at the quarters full of laughter and jolliness. They told me they were out and wanted to know if I wanted out too. Pansies. They got all worked up over the way they were being treated.   I knew Assistant Farmer had no clue, and there was gonna be a scene.  I really wanted out, but unfortunately, the quarters were not the biggest place. When I saw him coming I quickly retreated to my room where I could hear a ruckus in the kitchen that involved a lot of swearing and shouting. I hid out until it quieted down then made an appearance. The Irish boys had their music pumping and were well on their way to getting wasted. They packed up and left a few hours later. Good riddance was the general consensus at the farm. 
 So currently I have two lovely Frenchies (who wash their dishes...WITH SOAP!!!) and the one Aussie.  Because the Frenchies are so tidy, it leaves me with little do. Lately I have been doing catch-up with family and friends from back home. My life in Cambodia combined with the internet situation made communications difficult. Also, I have been doing hours of navigation online trying to sort out school stuff from afar. Turns out I am terrible at this stuff. I really am way more comfortable face-to-face. Alas, being in the bowels of Ozland makes that a wee bit difficult.  Also, Farmer and Assistant Farmer both have kids so I have been doing some minding for them. Emma, the Assistant Farmer's wife is close to my age and we get along famously. Like a house on fire really. So we hang out and exchange gossip and recipes.  She has got two really lovely kids, Maddison and Angus. They are both close to my nephews and nieces age so I really like to hang with them. Farmer Tom and Steph have four kids, but the two older boys go to boarding school, so I see the two young girls, Abby and Gilly (10 and 9). They are absolute gems. They are currently taking dance and so the other day I was over and we had a free dance session to Adele and they ripped out all these groovy ballet/hip-hop moves and were quite good. So, anyway, it feels very homey and comfortable here. 

Usually in the mornings I clean up and try to bake a little while it's still cool.  Harvest is nearly finished and during that time the boys worked incessantly. One guy worked 24 hours straight, then came home and slept 18 hours. Poor bloke. These guys work so hard! I saw one of Frenchie's time sheets and he had worked 96 hours in one week! Yikes. Mind you, that would be some good coinage. I have hinted (never seriously) to Farmer Tom to let me drive the header (Combine for you Canadians). But after having driven him somewhere in the Ute and gearing down, then keeping the clutch in WHILE I turned the corner (apparently this makes it so that you have less control, somehting to do with compression, and my argument of saying I had full control because I am steering the steering wheel didn't fly), he says he doubts I am fit to drive the John Deere ride-on mower. Darn. I should,however mention, the header is 3/4 of a million dollars to purchase....
 On the weekend, the boys had been out there for a bit and Tom needed me to farrier the ute back in forth so he could get the road trains onto the paddock. While I was waiting in the paddock, Tom told me to hop up with the boys in the header. He says it was to show me how cool it was. I say he wanted me to talk their ears off and keep them awake. I got bored after an hour or two. But I am glad to have my part in this whole production, even if it is to make sure they aren't falling asleep.  

During harvest, they take turns coming home to eat and then sleep. I feel bad for them because they have been sitting in their tractors ALLLLL day with no one to talk to, so I usually sit at the table with them, drinking tea and checking on their day. Some days I feel like the only thing I did was sit at that table and drink tea:D  (And in case you didn't read into that it's more like I had no one to talk to allll day and there is a backlog of words stuck in me, so I have to get them all out, I just disguise it as an altruistic gesture of keeping them company...hah). 
The other night, Tom and Steph had myself and the three boys up for dinner. Steph is an awesome cook, so I always look forward to her cooking.  I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt (it was like 17 degrees out and I WAS FREEZING), but when the Frenchies came out they were all spit and polished up. So Aussie boy declared he couldn't be shown up by the Frenchies, and changed. So then if course I had to too. So there the four of us rocked up to the farmhouse in skirts (with gumboots as it was rainy) and "grade A" clothes...we looked good:D Steph served up  Indian food, although it didn't quite outshine the Shandhar Hut's food, it was delicious nonetheless.  We had such a good time up there. I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt by the end of the night. Tom and Aussie farmboy love to speak in French accents and imitate French stereotypes and it's so funny!The French boys just politely look on and take it with good humour. We all just had a really grand evening, and it felt very homey to all of us. As the Frenchies summed it up, "we feel belonged".  We do indeed. 

  I have seen my usual array of kangaroos, wallabies, tons of foxes, emus and an echidna!  I never tire of seeing them. The other day I was on a dirt road and decided to race the roo hopping beside me. He was going over 60 km/hr!  Impressive. 

Just on one last note, there's that part of the poem by Wordsworth, "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud", in the last stanza it says " as I lay in vacant or in pensive mood, they flash upon the inner eye, which is the bliss of solitude", which I totally get now. There are certain sights that are so awe-inspiring that you think about them repeatedly.  I have never seen the likes of the sunsets and the stars that I see here. Every night, I stare out the back window, or sit on the steps and watch the sun sink into the wheat-filled paddocks with the silhouette of emus and wierd foreign looking trees and am thankful for the opportunity to be out here. Then, when it becomes pitch black, the stars are so close and big that I can just stare and stare and it never ceases to amaze me at how gorgeous the scenery is in our world.  God, the ultimate artist, sure knows how to do things right!

Found: One kanga in the paddock
Baby Kangaroo
Me and Mia, the baby Roo

In the quarters, chillin' with local wildlife

Tina, the sausage the wiener dog checks out roo

Friday, 12 August 2011

Barangs on Bikes

Moi on me moto! It's name was "Elf"
This post is for any potential moto drivers who want to test their expertise in Phnom Penh.  This is my first-hand experience of driving in a country whose #1 fatality is from moto accidents.
Barang is the word that the Khmer use for foreigner. I am not sure what the literal translation is, but I will try to find out this week. It will be something good I am sure.
So I am going to paint the picture so you can really "get" how to drive here!  The analogy is an under the sea theme (my students made me watch the Little Mermaid this week, and I am guessing that is what prompted this!).

Picture yourself under the sea watching a school of fish swimming with a big fish like, maybe a shark or whale, which at any moment can turn on the helpless school of fish and gobble them down (not sure if whales eat anything other than plankton, but just go with it, marine inaccuracies and all). Above the sea, there is a fisherman doing some illegal dynamite fishing (which isn't technically illegal here if you pay off the right people), the fishermen use the stick of dynamite indiscriminately, but also they have a special net which they cast to catch a particular colour of fish from that school. Namely the white ones, because the white ones are fleshier and have more meat.  Also, this species that consists of the school of fish live in harmony most of the time, and work together to protect each other from their nemesis (anything bigger than them), but occasionally, they can and will turn on each other. Got the visual image??
Well, this is driving in Phnom Penh.  (Moto's are the school of fish, and cars and trucks are the sharks/whales/big fish.  White fleshy fish are Barangs. Fishermen=Police.)
So as I am driving, I tend to stick within a cluster of the motorbikes, of a car makes a sudden movement, you see this group of 30-40 bikes swerve in unison, often with nothing more than 3 inches between them (sometimes less!).  The key to maintaining balance in these situations is NOT TO LOOK DOWN! If I glance down to see how close the bike next to me is, (because sometimes I can feel the drivers breath on me and smell his breath), you wobble, which is detrimental in this group.  Always look into the distance, keeping your eyes peeled for gaps in the group which will allow you to pull ahead.

When it some to crossing a busy intersection with so street lights, you pull into oncoming traffic a little tiny bit.  This has a domino effect as the oncoming traffic starts to swerve around you. Once you get far enough into the oncoming lane, there is a 'Y' of traffic that flows around you, behind you and in front of you. It is a thing of beauty really, that I do this often and am still alive. Obviously at nighttime it is a bit sketchier, but everything is a bit sketchier here at night.  Ideally to cross a busy intersection it is best to wait fro some fellow moto-ers and you all crown close together and bully your way across the street, forcing oncoming traffic to stop and allow you to cross ensemble.

 I hate being on the outside wall for this one as the cars hate stopping. I had one run my moto over partially (it got my foot rests and kick start under it's bumper).  I couldn't move as there were too many moto's close to me, so I imperiously waved my hand at the driver telling him to back up. He also didn't have much room, but the inch or two he gave me allowed to motor on quickly. At least before he could get out of his car and check for damage (which there was, oops!). But it was totally his fault and my foot rest thingy is all gibbled now, so I didn't have the slightest qualm about it!  Ok,, but back to the shield. So we move in unison to get across the street. And Voila! Onwards we go!

Whilst driving, some of the things you have to remain alert for are the following:
-moto's coming in the opposite direction on your side of the road
-moto's with no breaks or breaks that don't work very well
-Drunk moto/tuk-tuk drivers (easily seen by their erratic driving). If seen, either slow waaayyyy down (but if it's night, it's safer to go faster and be slightly erratic yourself to prevent purse snatchers or moto-stealers from doing their thing) or speed up to pass them
-Copious amounts of LARGE potholes in the roads.
-The texting moto driver
-The moto drivers that are driving 2 or 3 abreast having a rollicking conversation amongst themselves......going the opposite direction on your side of the road! (Yup, not an exaggeration, totally seen that!)
- The little kid vendors at the street light who dart in and out of traffic
-The physically challenged beggars at the lights who are slower moving to get out of the way
-At lights, it is a common practice to run the lights and do it fast to avoid the police stationed at every intersection...almost been hit or hit them too many times to count
-Cars with RCAF plates (government plates) as they don't move for you, you move for them. Also they don't stop at lights and police can't stop them
-Large dump trucks, they are ALWAYS spitting dirt
-Moto's with more than 3 people aboard as the swerve a lot after coming to a direct stop in order to get going again
-The driver who hocks up a loogi and the wind is blowing in your direction and it lands on your foot and then you throw up in your mouth.
-The Police-Their like the meanest sharks in the water with authority issues. And they really don't like barangs, well, sorry, not totally true, they love to pull us over:D

So these are just a few of the cautions I can think of off the top of my head. If you think I have been remiss in mentioning anything, please don't hesitate to inform me.

So let's talk law enforcement for a moment or two. If I go on longer than a moment I tend to rant, and that is just plain unattractive.  Speaking of unattractive one police guy that pulled me over had a mole on his cheek that had about 5 hairs sprouting out of it that were at least a foot long. They swayed in the breeze like  Pantene Pro-V Models' hair swirls in front of a fan...only his didn't look so well conditioned.
So, I have only been stopped about 5 times. An average of once a month. Not so bad I suppose. One of the foreign teacher's at my school said he has been stopped no less than 50 times in 2 years. That's a lot of bribes, er, fines to pay. Anyway when they stop you the first thing they do is take your moto and tell you they are taking it to the station. The first time this happened I understood that they were taking me to jail and had a mini-flip out.  But what they do is impound your moto and then you have to wait hours (the average is 6-8) and then pay 30-50$ to get it back. So it's best to just pay them then and there. Once they take your moto out of your hands they have the advantage over you. So the last time I got pulled over, I didn't jump off my moto at their command. I simply sat their asking "Ma-an, Ma-an" over and over again.  They kept motioning for me to get off. But I blankly smiled and sat there sweetly. And, then eventually I got off as if it were my idea all along. My experiment worked, the power had shifted to me.  Muahahhaha. Anyway, I paid them with relatively few complications. So the best way to handle to police in my opinion, is to be firm, and repeat "T'la Na'a" over and over (too expensive). (The worst thing you can do is point out all the others doing whatever "mistake" you did and then ask why they aren't pulling the others over...)
Also use as much Khmer as you know so then they know you have been there awhile and they won't take as much of an advantage of you (usually!).  Ok that's all I am gonna say on that topic. Swine. Ok, and that too.

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Funny Things my Students Say

Setting: GEP Level 7
Me (trying to get student to guess the vocabulary word barbeque for a crossword puzzle): Ok, you need this thing to cook outside
Student Male 21 years old (nodding and smiling): Yes
Me: No, what do you need to cook outside?
Student: OK
Me: Um, ok, look at your list of vocabulary words and show me which one I am talking about.
Student (looking puzzled): No?
Me: Um, ok, you have some meat, you are outside at the park with you family and you want to cook your meat. How will you cook it? You need this thing.
Student: 'Cha....(looks at me pleadingly) I not understand.
Me: Ok, this thing is VITAL to having your dinner cooked. You cannot cook without it. You MUST have this thing otherwise you will go hungry and not have any supper.
Student, visibly brightens: Ah....... woman!
He looks immensely pleased with himself. Then quickly looks hurt when I burst into uncontrollable laughter, obviously he has never been around the Marks' sisters.

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Setting: Grade 5, Space Unit
Me (trying to facilitate conversations): How would you guys like to live on the moon?
Student 1: Teacher, but where would we go to the Pagoda?
Me: Um, well, I guess you might just build one.
Class pauses and thinks about it.
Student 2: But where would we put the dead?
Me: I guess you would just release them into space where they would float around.....?
Student 1: But we can jump very far with no gravity?
Me: Yes
Student 2: I would like to go then.
Me: And I would like to send you!
Immediately the class begins to discuss who they would like to send to space...big insult of the day becomes " I want to send YOU to space!".

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Setting: Kindergarten 2
Children all quietly doing their assigned work.  Classroom very orderly and all behaving well. Out of nowhere I hear this chant set to the tune of the bread peddlers who blare a boombox tied to their bikes as they wander the streets trying to sell their baguettes.
2 students in unison: " I wuv you...Teacher Becca, I wuv you...Teacher Becca,   I wuv you...Teacher Becca". Before I can even understand what they are saying the whole class is shouting this and banging their little hands on their desks to keep time...." I WUV YOU TEACHER BECCA!  I WUV YOU TEACHER BECCA!  I WUV YOU TEACHER BECCA!". Oh my goodness, these kids sure know how to make a teacher feel good. I joined in the chant but we said it for every student. Then I regained control of the class and put them back to work!
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Setting: Kindergarten 2
I am standing up, talking to the TA when I feel some breezy-ness on my backside. I quickly spin around and there was one student lifting up my skirt while 3 students looked! Luckily I wear shorts underneath for when I ride my moto!

Saturday, 2 July 2011

School and Sihanoukville





Kinder class hard at work

Kinder Class


There was a fight and this is what gathered! Kinders!

Khmer Dancing Class


Learning to Khmer Dance


Testing time (These were the best students)
Morning Greet
Erin, Pastor John and I


Yeah, just me and the ocean at Otress Beach

The road to the beach

Paved schmaved
Otress Beach, Sihanoukville

On the way to the beach!

The Ocean

I so cool

She so cool

I so BIG

Forgot sunscreen

The Luchkins and I

The Ladies and I


Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Devin the Poet!

After reading my blog, Devin sent me an email containing this poem. It basically provides a Dr. Suess style synopsis. So if you only read this one post, you will know about everything that has been going on:D Reprinted WITHOUT the permission of Devin Masyk-Neumeier...xo


BECKY SHMECKY puddin' and pie, 
Looked at the animals up in the sky.
One little monkey threw out a rock at you,
So funny that you almost had to jump in poo!


Okay so the monkey threw it within the cave 
But your reaction must have been all the rave. 
You seemed to have survived amidst the leech 
And now sound like a really great TEACH! 

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Teaching in Phnom Penh, Cambodia


I have been in Phnom Penh Cambodia for 1 whole month now. This means I have been on the road 6 weeks now. Hardly feels like it! It has flown.
The first week I arrived in Phnom Penh, Olya and Andrey picked me up from the bus station. Funny thing was that I was supposed to arrive at 7pm and arrived at 1030pm. Also, no one ever knows where the bus will drop you and there was a definite language barrier. But I finally figured out (with the help of all 40 passengers gathered around to watch the foreigner make a spectacle of herself) that it would be O'Russy Market.  They found me:D Thankfully, as I didn`t have a phone to call them on.

The Chum People (Live and work on the Mekong River) 
Because it was Khmer New Year, nothing much was opened so I was unable to apply for jobs.
We went to Silky Island, with Olya, Andrey, Erin and John and the kids.  It is this island where they make silk on looms!  I tried my hand at it:D I would hate to do it for a living is all I can say. There was a little boy there who has befriended Erin, named Joe who showed us around his house. They brought out some music and tried to teach me Khmer dancing. Pretty soon the whole village gathered to watch and laugh at our crazy antics.  Also, Joe was very proud of his mango trees that he owned. It was an interesting insight into his life!
The expert weaver

Doing her thang'

The Loom

Banana Tree in Joe's Backyard

Joe's Yard

Joe proudly showing us HIS mango tree. He is very entrepreneurial and sells the fruit from his tree.


Hanging out in the Mango Tree

To the amusement of all I try my hand at weaving


Well, I now know what I DON'T want to do when I grow up. 


The audience

The crowd that gathered when they heard there were foreigners about




The following Monday, my trusty chauffeur and receptionist Olya, drove me around dropping off resume`s like crazy. Nothing much is done here via internet, it is all in person. Within 2 days I had an interview. The following Monday, I started my new job teaching English at Western International School. I teach grade 5 in the morning (two classes) and kindergarten in the afternoon.  On my first day, I loved my grade fives, but the kinders freaked me out. I told Western I didn`t want to teach the kinders, and they were bummed out and tried to talk me into it. I had another interview, but it turned out I didn`t want the job and so went back to kinder for the week just to help them out till I found something better. In that time I found out that I could do whatever I wanted with them, with only a little book work. Well, that was a different story, and so now I have fun with them. We sing, play games, do the hokey pokey and colour and play some more. It`s great fun. I walk into the classroom and they swarm me like bees and honey. It is so cute, but on the especially hot days they are so sweaty and I am so sweaty it isn`t that pleasant. So I have them trained to hug me once I am inside the air conditioning...so high maintenance eh?!


 The days are long. I start at 830am and end at 7pm. My classes aren't close together and so the 5.5 hour day is spread across 11 hours. I do so much work outside of class time (unpaid of course) that is isn't even funny. It will pay enough for me to live and buy a ticket to the next place but I won't get too much travelling out of it.

I get up at 7 am and leave my house by about 8am to be at school for 830. The bell rings at 840 and i waltz into class where the children (usually between 10-20 students) all rush to their places and chant in unison "Good morning teacher Becca." 
Where I respond "Good Morning class, how are you guys?" 
They say "I am fine. Thank you teacher and you" and I say something different every morning like "I am peachy keen" or "I am just swell" followed by "Thank you class, you may be seated".    
And so I start my day with a big grin. They are really nice and respectful students. I have a favourite in each of my grade 5 classes. Arun and Oudom...one from each class. My kinders I can't tell apart because they are all so little...so no favourites there yet.  I think it is obvious which is my faves. because I was marking their exams and one of the students noticed that I marked Arun's paper right when actually the question was wrong. This kid had the same answer and I had marked it wrong. Oopsies! It is sub-conscious though as I try not to look at who the paper belongs to. Arun isn't a strong student, so I think I am trying to help him out! 
 I do have a teacher's assistant in the class who help with disciplinary actions. Mostly they just cause more hassles. Like one time, i was giving a quiz, and i have a strict no talking policy. I left the room for 60 sec. to grab some water, i came back. Everyone was talking including the TA. I scowled and said " I said NO TALKING" and they shut up really fast. Kinda funny!
The crazy thing is that in the kinder class one of the TA's whack the kids. It is so sad. The children are afraid of her...poor little tykes. 
At 940 I go to the next class and teach the exact same thing. At 1030, i go to the teachers room and mark and enter the grades. Make up tests and prepare lesson plans etc. 1130 I go eat in the school cafeteria with some of the other teachers for 1.50$. (Usually vegetables, rice sometimes a little meat!)

 Then I head over to the next campus to teach kindergarten. I chat with the other teachers for a bit. Then enter the little class. The kids stand and do the same adorable chant! Except my kinders think my name is Teacher Beckham:D
 Then I usually sing songs and do a worksheet and colour and play games. More exhausting than the grade 5's if you can believe that. At 2:30pm I hop over to the other kindergarten class and do the same thing. Then I kill one hour, then head to town to the next campus 1/2 hour away. Beltei International Institute. I teach level 7 General English Program (GEP). The ages ranges from 12 - 23 years old (and there are only 6-7 students in this class!). But their level of English is quite low...so it is challenging.  I finish at 7:00 and am home by 7:30pm. Through the 11 hour day, I only work 5.5 hours....they say I will be getting more hours in the next 2 weeks which i am looking forward to.  
I live about 1/2 hour away from work, but this is because I am staying with the missionaries way out of the way. They are being very kind to me. When I come home from work they sometimes have dinner all made for me! I am getting spoiled!
In order to get around, I stand on the side of the road and hail a "motodop". Basically i just start walking in the direction I want to go. I never wait more than a few minutes and some dude puts his finger up, if i nod in response or put my finger up too, he comes over. I tell him wher I want to go (usually i have it written down as english is limited) and ask how much (in Khmer)... We barter ( I know how to say "how much" and " too expensive, please go lower" and my numbers of course), and once we settle on a price, i swing onto the back of his motorbike and away we go. I know my directions too "turn right", "turn left" and "go straight" as well as "stop stop!", so we get along magnificently. He drops me off where i want to go (it's usually not this straightforward, 70% of the time he gets lost). Anyway, once i get to my destination, I pay him and we part ways with a chirpy "akun cheran" (thank you very much!). It is quite convenient as the motodops are faster than any other mode of transport and cheapest. Next week i will start renting my own motorbike monthly, this should be interesting as I don't know my way around quite yet, so let the adventure begin!
Also, I just found a flat I will be moving into next week. It is near the riverfront, and a safe (expensive) area:D My roommate is a French girl doing an internship at the French Embassy. We met and got along famously...so I am excited to move into my own place. Erin, the missionary is an amazing decorator. She said she would take me to the markets and we can make the room homey for 20$. So this is what we will do!  Brighten it up a little...
Also, just as a side note, auto accidents are insane here. I see a body a week on the side of the road with a crowd gathered around. As a foreigner if you happen upon an accident, you turn and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. If you try to stick around and help they blame you (even if you just arrived) and make you pay a stack of money.  It is just not a situation you want to get yourself into, and then the police arrive, and it isn't pretty!  It sucks, because you feel so helpless and want to do something, but you simply can't.  The other week, I was walking to get a motodop and I heard a smash!, looked up and there had been an accident between a scooter and a bicycle...the bicycle guy was lying motionless on the ground. Immediately a crowd gathers and no one does anything. I talked to a Khmer girl and she said that because the Khmer believe whole-heartedly in Karma, that they don't help because "that person must have done something bad and deserved it". So no one much cares. Different mentality.
I think this is the latest update. All I have to say really!