Saturday, 16 July 2011

Funny Things my Students Say

Setting: GEP Level 7
Me (trying to get student to guess the vocabulary word barbeque for a crossword puzzle): Ok, you need this thing to cook outside
Student Male 21 years old (nodding and smiling): Yes
Me: No, what do you need to cook outside?
Student: OK
Me: Um, ok, look at your list of vocabulary words and show me which one I am talking about.
Student (looking puzzled): No?
Me: Um, ok, you have some meat, you are outside at the park with you family and you want to cook your meat. How will you cook it? You need this thing.
Student: 'Cha....(looks at me pleadingly) I not understand.
Me: Ok, this thing is VITAL to having your dinner cooked. You cannot cook without it. You MUST have this thing otherwise you will go hungry and not have any supper.
Student, visibly brightens: Ah....... woman!
He looks immensely pleased with himself. Then quickly looks hurt when I burst into uncontrollable laughter, obviously he has never been around the Marks' sisters.

Setting: Grade 5, Space Unit
Me (trying to facilitate conversations): How would you guys like to live on the moon?
Student 1: Teacher, but where would we go to the Pagoda?
Me: Um, well, I guess you might just build one.
Class pauses and thinks about it.
Student 2: But where would we put the dead?
Me: I guess you would just release them into space where they would float around.....?
Student 1: But we can jump very far with no gravity?
Me: Yes
Student 2: I would like to go then.
Me: And I would like to send you!
Immediately the class begins to discuss who they would like to send to space...big insult of the day becomes " I want to send YOU to space!".

Setting: Kindergarten 2
Children all quietly doing their assigned work.  Classroom very orderly and all behaving well. Out of nowhere I hear this chant set to the tune of the bread peddlers who blare a boombox tied to their bikes as they wander the streets trying to sell their baguettes.
2 students in unison: " I wuv you...Teacher Becca, I wuv you...Teacher Becca,   I wuv you...Teacher Becca". Before I can even understand what they are saying the whole class is shouting this and banging their little hands on their desks to keep time...." I WUV YOU TEACHER BECCA!  I WUV YOU TEACHER BECCA!  I WUV YOU TEACHER BECCA!". Oh my goodness, these kids sure know how to make a teacher feel good. I joined in the chant but we said it for every student. Then I regained control of the class and put them back to work!
Setting: Kindergarten 2
I am standing up, talking to the TA when I feel some breezy-ness on my backside. I quickly spin around and there was one student lifting up my skirt while 3 students looked! Luckily I wear shorts underneath for when I ride my moto!


  1. These are hilarious! So have you decided to join the club and be a teacher yet?

  2. You know how babysitting kids has the adverse effect of making you want to abstain from procreating?? Well, ditto to teaching...